THE UNAPOLOGETIC TRAVELER
Warning: This is rated R*
*If you’re under 18, please don’t read this. Thank you.
Best Stories of All Time
If you have never read my stories, or if this is the first time you came across this blog, you can start here. I’ve put together a compilation of the top five stories from the last few years that my readers loved the most. Enjoy!
The Great Dinner
I wanted to impress a girl, so I threw a Thanksgiving dinner at my place. But if I knew then what I know now, I would have kept Turkey frozen and my dignity unbroken.
Molds and Blindfolds
What happens when your blind date blindfolds you?
Love, Lust, and Love Handles
As an expat in China, I get exposed to many thought-provoking phenomena. However, when it comes to sexual performance anxiety, it’s all the same, whether you’re in Toronto, Tokyo, or Timbuktu.
Old is Not Always Gold
One of the things I most enjoy during my travels is shopping for gifts. I love when I discover something that makes me think of a friend, a family member, or a colleague. But how do you ensure that what you’re buying is worth it?
Weekend in Wasteland
This is the story of when I got locked in the garbage disposal area, during a COVID 19 lockdown in Shenzhen, China.
White Monkeys
White monkey is a term used to refer to the phenomenon of white foreigners in China being hired for modeling, advertising, or promotional jobs on the basis of their skin color. It’s based on the perception that association with foreigners, specifically white foreigners, can signify prestige, legitimacy, and international status.
Life of π
Should I follow the pattern of the universe and see what happens or travel to Borneo and take the road less traveled?
Just Don’t Get Caught
What happens when you meet rebellious people in a harmonious country.
An Uninvited Guest
After a successful dinner date, we made a quick stop at my place for nature’s call. But all of a sudden, we heard a loud siren, followed by an announcement that the building had been sealed. So, my date had no choice but to spend the next 48 hours in my bathroom.
A Twinkle in Your Wrinkle
I had to travel only 9000 kilometers to realize why I was unhappy most of my life.
Lose Face: Instantly
I pulled out my phone to message my friend’s boss that the deal was off, but my friend took the phone away from me, “I have an idea,” she said. The plan was to go with the original plan. Her boss would get me what I wanted, she would show up for the date, and one of her colleagues would leak the info to his wife. That would make a great reality TV episode, I thought.
French Fries are Not French
I thought I was gonna die, during the winter of 1998. I was at the end of my teenage years, working at a fast food restaurant known for their square beef patties and a cold beverage called Frosty. The local meteorologist, Darr Maqbool aka Uncle Darr, predicted that the weather would take a turn and it would be a bad one.
This is How You Lose Her
This is a follow-up post to A Boo-tiful Night. I’d suggest you read the backstory first. Here’s a quick recap: For our third date, we went to a Halloween party at one of the trendy spots in town. The next morning, when I woke up, the girl in my bed wasn’t my date. This is the story of what happened after that.
A Boo-tiful Night
For our third date, I wanted to take her out to a fancy dinner, but she invited me to go to a Halloween party with her at one of the trendy spots in town. “Let’s meet at the bar,” she said, “and let’s not tell each other what we’re gonna wear.”
How I Met Her Mother
At the beginning of this year, I became a fake boyfriend in China, and later met the father of my fake girlfriend. Our interaction was so horrible that my fake girlfriend decided not to introduce me to her mother. So, I was surprised when she called me a few days ago, and asked me to accompany her to the biggest fundraising gala in Shenzhen, which was sponsored by her mother’s company.
We Don’t Accept Foreigners
We argued for a few minutes, then the manager came out and kicked us out. So, we looked at a few other hotels, but all of them said they didn’t accept foreigners. WTF! Where am I supposed to sleep? I thought.
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
I would’ve stayed longer, but I felt something crawled on my leg, so I jumped up and ran to my motorbike. I held the handlebars, unlocked the bike stand with my foot, and pressed the start button. The red battery indicator on the front panel blinked, the crickets chirped in the background, and my heartbeat raced like a derby horse.
China Makes Me Feel Like a Delusional Celebrity
I noticed that where ever I went, be it the supermarket, or the metro station, or even a walk in the park, people starred at me, they took my photo without asking, and some even touched my beard and the hair on my arms and raised their eyebrows. I felt like a delusional celebrity.