China Makes Me Feel Like a Delusional Celebrity

At the end of summer and the beginning of fall, yellow gingko leaves twirled for the first time, Chinese plums and apricots blossomed, and I arrived at the Hong Kong International Airport with a large suitcase, my hopes and dreams of acquiring a lucrative contract, and a one-way ferry ticket to Shenzhen - one of the fastest growing cities in China.

It was 2016 when I left Gwangju, South Korea. Even though I loved Korean food, easy access to mountains, and the brilliant indie filmmaking scene, I couldn’t stand the subtle discrimination against non-white foreigners (in public areas, at work, and especially in the dating scene), and their obsession with plastic surgery. At that time I didn’t have a job offer and I didn’t know if China would be any better, but I was so fed up with Korea that I packed my bags and moved.

The day after I arrived in Shenzhen, one of the recruiters invited me for a Cantonese dim sum brunch, and then took me to meet a Korean educational company (how ironic) that was planning to launch in the Chinese market. They were looking for a “face” to sell their idea. When I got there, I saw eight white and one black person waiting for their turn to be interviewed. Of course they’re looking for a white teacher, I thought, I’m just wasting my time here.

“You’re the perfect candidate,” the recruiter tapped my shoulder.

“Why would you say that? Don’t you see all these white teachers here?” I looked at him.

“Here in China, it’s all about relationships and personality,” he said, “just be yourself.”

I rolled my eyes, “yeah right,” I said.

When I walked into the conference room for my interview, there were around 12 people waiting for me. What is this? An Indian arranged marriage? I thought. “You can start the demo whenever you’re ready,” the oldest lady in the room said. “A demo?” I looked at my recruiter. “Just show them how you teach,” he said. That was definitely not what I expected, but I didn’t have a choice, so I took on the challenge. What should I do? I thought for a few seconds, and looked at the oldest lady in the room. She smiled.

“I’d like you to pretend to be a five-year old who hates school,” I looked at the oldest lady in the room.

Her smile disappeared and most of the eyes in the room lit up. She got up and walked up to me. For the next 10-15 minutes, I made her dance, hop like a rabbit, and swim in an imaginary ocean. I predicted that after that torture, she would kick me out of the room, but instead, she turned to look at her team and said something in Chinese, they all nodded with a smile.

“You got the job,” she said, “can you start tomorrow?” I couldn’t believe how easy that was. But what about all the white people outside, I thought.

For the next few months, I did exactly what I had done during the interview, but that time I did “the demo” in front of potential families. Imagine around 20 parents holding their cellphones in front of your face, recording you, while you make a fool of yourself. I felt like an exotic monkey inside a cage of a foreign zoo. Oh well, at least it pays well, I thought every time I wanted to quit. The funny thing was that the monkey show didn’t stop in the classroom. I noticed that where ever I went, be it the supermarket, or the metro station, or even a walk in the park, people starred at me, they took my photo without asking, and some even touched my beard and the hair on my arms and raised their eyebrows. I felt like a delusional celebrity.

The experience was so surreal, especially because it was the opposite of what I went through in South Korea, so I started enjoying it. It was kind of like love at first sight, when you don’t understand or know anything about the person, but you feel there’s something about them that makes them special in your eye. It’s 2021 now and I’m still in love with this country.

When I was in South Korea, I never dated a Korean girl, I wanted to but every time I asked a Korean girl out on a date, she rejected me. What the fuck is wrong with me? I used to think. But soon I realized I was not white, so I only focused on expat girls. But dating in China is a lot of fun. If you read my blog regularly, you know what I’m talking about. I live in Shenzhen, it’s a relatively new city and it has people from all over China, it’s one of the most diverse cities in this country, and I love meeting people from different backgrounds. Don’t get me wrong, China has their color preferences (sometimes a white teacher is valued more, that’s how a lot of Eastern Europeans get jobs here, they pretend to be Americans because most of the Chinese can’t tell the difference,) but overall it’s not as bad as South Korea.

There are a lot of perks of being a foreigner in China, like getting free dishes at restaurants, strangers paying for your drinks at bars, and security letting you enter festivals and shows without purchasing a ticket (not always but most of the time). But then there are a lot of cons as well. If you don’t speak Chinese, it’s really difficult to travel because majority of Chinese don’t speak English, and their system is not foreigner friendly. For example, every time I stay at a hotel, I have to be registered with the local police within 24 hours, if I fail to do so, I have to pay a fine of 2000 RMB (around $300 USD). Stuff like that makes me think, WTF yo, you serious? Also, I’m not allowed to get more than $500 USD in foreign currency from the bank, when I ask why, they say, “because you’re a foreigner.” A lot of online stores/events require a Chinese ID to move to the next step of the purchase, so if you don’t have a Chinese friend to help you out, you’re out of luck.

The good thing is that there are more pros than cons of being a foreigner in China. And in the last five years, China has made an effort to make life easier for foreigners, because they want to attract the best talent from around the world. So, I have hope. However, the monkey show never stops, I get photographed pretty much every day. No biggie, I think. This is what celebrities deal with on a daily basis. Yes, I am an exotic monkey for the Chinese, but I don’t mind, actually I like it. Will I stay here forever? Probably not, but I do see myself explore this beautiful country for a few more years.

China, I love you long time.