An Uninvited Guest

She had never tried Turkish food before, so, for our second date, I took her to Mevlana, the best Middle Eastern restaurant in Shenzhen. We ordered Adana kebab, piyaz salad, and hummus. We were both hungry, so we cleared the platter pretty fast. “I’m gonna use the ladies room,” she said. I nodded.

While she was gone, I ordered baklava and Turkish tea. But when she returned to our table, she didn’t sit, instead she picked up her bag and wore it across her shoulder. “Is everything okay?” I said, “I just ordered dessert for us.”

“Oh, I don’t eat sugar,” she said, “and also I didn’t use the washroom here, it was really dirty.”

I paid the bill, called Didi (Chinese Uber,) and waited outside the restaurant for the car to arrive.

“Looks like it’s gonna rain,” she cupped her hands in front of her. I looked up at the sky, and a raindrop fell on my face, “how about we check out this new band playing at Lavo?” I looked at her.

“Sure, but first I really need to use the washroom.”

“We can stop by my place, it’s really close from here,” I said.

“Nice try,” she laughed, “I’m not going to your place, this is only our second date.”

“I mean so you can use the washroom.”

“Oh okay.”

I changed the drop-off location on my Didi app, we got into the car, and headed to my place. On the way, I recalled what my apartment looked like before I left. I wondered if I had made my bed after getting up that morning. The maid had cleaned the place a few days ago, so at least that was taken care of. I wanted to make sure I would make a good impression on her. Fuck, I realized there were no hand towels in the bathroom, because I had done laundry that morning.

By the time we reached my place, it was raining heavy. We came out of the car, and ran towards the entrance of my apartment building. “We should grab an umbrella before heading to Lavo,” I said. We got into the elevator, and I pressed 33 on the panel.

“Wow, high floor,” she said.

“Can’t believe how easy it was to bring you home,” I smiled at her.

She slapped my arm, “you wish,” she laughed.

The elevator doors opened, and she rushed out. I better get her in there fast, I entered the passcode on the door panel, opened my apartment door, and showed her the bathroom. “Take your time, I’ll play some music,” I said, and walked away.

I put on Nina Simone on my Bluetooth speakers, and went to my bedroom to fix the bed. After the first song ended, I heard the toilet flush a few times. Oh shit, I went to the balcony and grabbed a hand towel. Luckily it was dry. I walked back to the bathroom, “I’ve put a fresh towel on the door knob for you,” I said out loud.

“So, you can hear me now?” she said.

“Oh sorry, I was in the balcony, what do you need?”

“You’re out of toilet paper.”

“Did you check the cabinet under the sink?”

“What do you think, smartass?”

“Oh okay, give me five minutes, there’s a store right across from my building.”

“This is so embarrassing,” she said.

“I’m so sorry, I’ll be quick,” I rushed out of my apartment, took the elevator down, and ran across the street to the convenience store.

When I came out of the store, holding a 12-pack, I heard sirens and police announcing something on their loud speakers. I crossed the street and walked up to the entrance. The security guards were helping the police seal the place.

“What’s going on?” I looked at one of the guards. He said something in Chinese, which I didn’t understand. So, I took out my phone, opened the translator app, and passed it to him. He wrote that I couldn’t go back to my apartment. When I asked him why, he just shrugged his shoulder and walked away.

WTF, she’s gonna kill me. I walked back and forth outside the entrance. The rain was pouring, and I had no umbrella on me, so, I put the toilet paper pack over my head, and called my date. She answered right away, “where the hell are you?” I explained the situation to her, and then passed the phone to a police officer, so she could find out more.

Turned out that a few days ago, a lot of people from Hong Kong had crossed the border illegally into Shenzhen because Hong Kong had reported 10,000 new COVID cases in a day. The police suspected that two of those people were hiding in our building, so it had to be sealed.

“Did you tell them it was an emergency, and that you needed the toilet paper?”

“I can’t believe I went out with you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You are so stupid,” she said, and hung up.

We didn’t speak for the next 48 hours. I stayed at one of my colleague’s place. I kept calling her, but she didn’t pick up. So, I texted her my door code in case she needed it. She replied back with a thumbs up emoji, but that’s all I got from her.

When the cops left, I got a notification from my building management, and I rushed back. When I opened the apartment door, she was gone. I went straight to the bathroom, surprisingly it was spotless, except the mirror. She had left me a message, using her red lipstick:

WORST DATE EVER.