The Most Ineligible Bachelor

A few years ago, my life changed. I got a job with a startup in China that many expats around the world would die for. A job that made me financially free, offered three months of paid holidays, and allowed me do all things creative. It was surreal, especially when they told me that we would go to Bürgenstock, Switzerland “to bond,” before we started the actual work, and we would stay at the most expensive resort above the magnificent Lake Lucerne. Nothing can go wrong now, I thought, this is the life I always wanted, to travel in style, to be financially free, and to be with the perfect life partner. As soon as I got the news, I called my girlfriend, and we decided to meet for dinner. I thought it was to celebrate me, but she had something else in mind.

“I think we should break up,” she said. WTF! Just when I thought nothing could go wrong. She told me that her parents would never accept a foreigner, and that she wanted to have children in the future. “But you always knew that I didn’t want kids,” I said. “I thought you would change your mind,” she said. Of course you did, I sighed. We were blind, in love, and we secretly believed we were right for each other. But the truth was, even though our sadomasochistic relationship was on fire, we weren’t right for each other. Not in a million years. I’ll meet someone better, I consoled myself, maybe in Bürgenstock.

Enroute Switzerland, the plane ride felt like a rollercoaster. I was thrilled for the new beginning, yet I was sad for the love ending. I pulled out my phone, and looked at all the photos of us together, we had a wonderful life, I thought.

When I arrived at the Zurich airport, there was a team that welcomed and directed us towards the train station to head to Lake Lucerne. On the train, I met a few girls, most of them were bold and beautiful. I wondered if we were heading to a beauty pageant. How was it possible that the majority of the girls our startup hired were so pretty? Must be a hidden agenda, I thought. At times, I get skeptical, because I think of all those moments when I didn’t get hired because of my color, my name, or my accent. But since then I have learned how to be brown in any town. “This place is so beautiful,” one of the girls said. Not as beautiful as you, I thought. I introduced myself to her. She told me that she grew up in Shanghai, went to Harvard Graduate School of Education, and loved playing with hula-hoops. Hope she’s single, I thought. We added each other on our WeChat, and planned to take the funicular from Lake Lucerne to our hotel together, but when we disembarked from the train, I lost her.

While I waited for the funicular to arrive, another bold and beautiful girl approached me. She said, she grew up in Shenzhen, went to MIT, and worked at Google before joining our startup. I hope she’s single, I thought. We exchanged our WeChat contacts, and planned to meet later for drinks.

In the first few days, I met a lot of people, it was overwhelming because I am an introvert. Every time I looked for the girl from Harvard or the girl from MIT, I met another one. For someone who had just broken up, this was a paradise. During the day, I focused on professional bonding, but in the evening I let it loose. I had been exchanging messages with most of the girls I met at the beginning of the week, but all of them stopped flirting after a few days. WTF, I couldn’t understand the pattern, until the very last day when the truth came out.

During the grand reception, I noticed that the girl from Harvard, the girl from MIT, and a few other girls I had been talking to were all sitting on the same table. What are the chances, I thought, and walked up to the table. “Care to join us?” The girl from Harvard said. “I would love to,” as I sat down, I noticed that the girls exchanged looks. There was definitely an elephant in the room, and it was a big one.

“Can’t believe this is coming to an end,” I said. “It was like a dream,” one of the girls said. “Here’s to new beginnings,” I raised my glass, and we clinked.

“I would love to come back here one day,” I said. “You should bring your girlfriend here,” the girl from MIT said. “Maybe even propose to her,” another girl said, “isn’t this the perfect spot?”

“WHAT? I'm single.”

“Are you?” The girl from Harvard said. And all the other girls on the table looked at each other.

“Is there something I don’t know?” I gulped the rest of my wine.

They explained that the reason they thought I was in a relationship was because I had photos of my ex on my WeChat Moments (similar to Facebook). I couldn’t understand why I needed to get rid of those photos, those were beautiful moments from my past, and I still cherished them. One of the girls clarified that in Chinese culture, people don’t post photos of their relationship unless they are engaged. Anything before that stays behind the curtain. If you have photos on your WeChat Moments, it means it’s official, and you’re taken.

“I’m not deleting those photos!”

“Then you’ll be the most ineligible bachelor in town,” the girl from Harvard laughed.

And the rest of the girls giggled.

After I checked out, I took the funicular from the hotel to Lake Lucerne, and then hopped on the train to Zurich airport. That time I was alone. I couldn’t stop thinking about the grand reception, and then something dawned on me. I pulled out my phone, and went through my ex’s WeChat Moments. There wasn’t a single photograph of us together. She never posted! I realized that the girls were right, it was a shared norm, a critical criterion, a bachelor barometer.

I looked out the window, it’s time to let her go, I pulled up my WeChat Moments on my phone, and pressed DELETE.