Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

Five years ago, I took a train from Hong Kong to Shenzhen, where I met two Chinese girls who were best friends, and who ended up being my BFFs in Shenzhen. It was serendipity, a pure providence, because since that day, the three of us have never been apart. It was like an unofficial marriage.

Mandy was petite, maybe too petite. During windy weather, I would hold her, just to be safe so she didn’t fly away, but she assured me that the weight of the cosmetics in her handbag would keep her on the ground. She wanted to be a model, but a few years ago, she got married, had a baby, and started a yoga studio for hot moms who wanted to be influencers on TikTok.

Sakura was the clever one, and obsessed with manga (Japanese graphic novels.) She once said that she would only get married if the guy looked like one of the manga characters. She loved it so much that she bought a sharp chainsaw keychain, which was inspired by a contemporary manga, Chainsaw Man. Sakura was also Mandy’s maid of honor. During the wedding, a guest told her that if she didn’t get married soon, she would end up alone, forever. The guest was lucky, because that day Sakura had forgotten her chainsaw keychain at home. Since that day, she has always carried it on her at all times.

This is the story of our Dragon Boat Festival long weekend holiday. In the past, the three of us have always spent this weekend together. Even after Mandy got married and became a mom, we continued this tradition. For this holiday, Sakura suggested Chongqing, the biggest city in China. Mandy said that with a population of over 30 million people, a city that covered roughly the same land area as South Carolina, Sakura would definitely meet at least one guy who looked like a manga character. So we booked our flights, packed our bags, and called a Didi (Chinese Uber) to take us to the airport.

“I’m so hungry,” Mandy got into the back seat of the car. “You’re always hungry,” Sakura followed her. I sat in the passenger seat, “how about Sichuan food?” I checked the closest restaurant on my mobile app. Sakura said that Chongqing was in the province of Sichuan, so it would be better for us to pick another cuisine. But Mandy said she couldn’t wait to find another restaurant, she was starving, and it would also be better for me as a foreigner to acclimatize the spiciness of Sichuan before our trip. She told the driver to take us to the restaurant instead.

“You know what they say about Sichuan?” Mandy tapped my arm. I shrugged my shoulders. “Sichuan has spicy food and spicy girls,” she winked. “I thought this trip was about finding me a boyfriend,” Sakura elbowed Mandy. “I’m sure we’ll find you a spicy manga guy,” I laughed.

When we arrived at the restaurant, Mandy ordered food for all of us, Sakura scheduled another Didi car for the airport, and I edited my blog on the iPad while we waited for the food. “What are you working on?” Sakura took a sneak peek, but I pulled my iPad close to my chest, “all in good time,” I smiled, “you’ll see when it’s done.” She rolled her eyes, “what’s the point of being your friend,” she looked away. “I’m so hungry,” Mandy said.

“Oh my God,” Sakura’s eyes were glued to the entrance of the restaurant. Mandy and I turned our heads. “What?” I said. “Look at him,” Mandy held Sakura’s hand. As the guy came closer, I saw that he had lustrous eyes, long hair, small mouth and pointed nose. It was as if he popped out of one of Sakura’s graphic novels. What are the chances, I thought. To everyone’s surprise, the guy walked straight to our table, and extended his hand to me, “sorry to barge in,” he smiled, “but I think we go to the same gym.” That’s creepy, I thought, and shook his hand, “never seen you before,” I said.

At that moment, our food arrived, and the waiter refilled our tea. “Would you like to join us?” Mandy said. “I would love to,” the guy pulled a chair, and introduced himself. His name was Steven, he was half Chinese, half British, and had recently moved to Shenzhen from London. “But you don’t have a British accent,” Sakura said. “Well, we moved around a lot,” he said, and raised his hand, “I guess we should order more food.” We started with Suan La Tang, the hot and sour soup, while Steven and Sakura looked at the menu. As soon as I drank the soup, I got hiccups. “You’re gonna love the food on this trip,” Mandy passed me a napkin, and everyone laughed.

“So, Steven,” I wiped my mouth, “which gym do you go to?” I said. “Oh,” he said in a high pitch, “same as you, bro.”

My gym has two locations, so I wasn’t sure which one he was referring to, “Shuiwan or The Hilton?” I asked. But before he could answer, we heard the theme song of the American Horror Story, it was Mandy’s ringtone, she wiped her hands with a wet towel, and picked up her phone. “Why don’t you just enjoy the food,” Steven said. “It might be my mother-in-law,” Mandy said. Sakura rolled her eyes. Steven slurped his soup.

“Bù hǎole!” (Oh no!) Mandy said on the phone. We all paused. She hung up, and put her phone down, “our flight just got cancelled,” she said.

“Where were you heading?” Steven held the base of the head of the shrimp, twisted it, and removed it. “Chongqing,” Sakura said. “Can’t we just take the train?” I said. “That’s gonna take forever,” Steven wedged his three middle fingers under the shrimp shell, and squeezed, the shrimp popped out and dropped into his mouth, “more than 12 hours,” he said while chewing his food with his mouth open. The three of us looked at each other.

Sakura suggested we move to plan B, which was to visit Guilin, a scenic town, and it would take us only three hours by high speed train. Mandy searched for the train tickets, but due to the long weekend, they were all sold out. “I know someone,” Steven said, “who can get you the train tickets.” He made a phone call, and to our surprise, got us booked on the next train. He offered to drive us to the train station. I paid the bill, and we got into his car.

On the way, Steven’s phone rang, he touched his blue tooth headset, and talked to the person on the other end for about 10 seconds, then hung up. “I have bad news,” he said. “Now what?” I looked at him. “There was an avalanche near one of the train tracks, so all the trains to Guilin are cancelled,” he said. “Why is this happening to us?” Sakura sighed. “Don’t worry babes,” Steven looked in the rare view mirror, “I’ll drive you to Guilin.”

Babes! Why would he call her that? I turned around and looked at Mandy and Sakura, they both raised their eyebrows. “No worries,” I said, “we’ll figure something out when we get to the train station.”

“No,” Steven thumped the steering wheel, “I insist,” he said with a high pitch, and pressed his foot on the accelerator. I held the handle bar of the passenger door, and squeezed my pelvic muscles. Steven turned the indicator on, and took a sharp turn towards an open exit. “Where are you going? This road doesn’t go to the station,” Mandy grabbed the back of his seat. Sakura and I both knew that Mandy was great with directions, especially in Shenzhen, because she grew up here.

“Calm down,” he tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, “it’s a short cut.” I saw the smirk on his face, and I squeezed my pelvic muscles harder.

“Steven?” Sakura said with a soft voice. “Yes, babes,” he looked in the rare view mirror, and smiled. “Do you like manga?” Sakura said. WTF, I thought. It didn’t make sense to me, we were on the verge of being kidnapped or who knew what by a psycho, and she was thinking about manga. But on the other hand, she was the clever one in our group, so I played along and so did Mandy.

“Blue Lock?” Steven took his foot off the accelerator. “Jujustu Kaisen,” Sakura said. “Dandadan,” Steven fixed his hair. “Chainsaw Man,” Sakura moved closer to the driver seat, and massaged his shoulders. “Oh, I love Chainsaw Man,” he put his hand over hers, pulled the car to the shoulder lane, and turned to look at her, “are you for real?”

“Yes, babes,” Sakura pulled out her Chainsaw Man keychain, and stabbed him in the back. “Run!” she screamed. We grabbed our bags, and rushed out of the car. He covered his wound with one hand, and opened the car door with the other. I was glad we weren’t in the wild wild west, because otherwise this story would have ended much earlier, and I wouldn’t even be alive to tell it. But we were in China, surrounded by surveillance, cops, and more surveillance.

All of a sudden, the theme song of The American Horror Story came on, Mandy answered her phone, and Sakura and I stood in silence.

“Tian a!” (Oh my God) she shouted.

“What happened?” I said.

“It was Sichuan Airlines,” she jumped up and down, “we’re going to Chongqing!”