It’s Good For Your Healthy

It was the end of summer in 2016, I arrived in Shenzhen, to start my new job as an elementary teacher in a Chinese public school. It was 30 degrees Celsius (86ºF,) humid as hell, and the first thing I noticed was that all the Chinese teachers were drinking hot water. What’s wrong with these people? I thought, and took a sip of my ice-cold coconut water that I bought at a convenience store down the road.

In the afternoon, right after lunch, I read Stephen King’s new novel End of Watch that I had bought at the Hong Kong International Airport, but all of a sudden the teachers in my department drew the curtains in the teacher’s room, pulled out their portable beds, and went to sleep. Interesting, I thought. I took my book and left the room. I thought I could continue reading in one of the other rooms where I taught that morning, but to my surprise, all the 50 kids in that classroom were also sleeping. The whole school felt like an abandoned graveyard. So, I decided to go for a walk outside the school, and ran into another foreign teacher who told me that it was quite normal, all the teachers and students took an hour-long nap right after lunch every day. It was a good time for foreign teachers to either go for a long walk or workout at a nearby gym. That’s a great idea, I thought.

The following week, I think it was a Wednesday, I remember because it was my busiest day, and I had the worst migraine ever. I asked one of my Chinese co-teachers if she had any painkillers. “Drink hot water,” she said. I looked around to see if anyone else heard her, and all the Chinese teachers around me nodded. “It’s good for your healthy,” one of them said. Don’t be such a skeptical, I thought. There was no harm in trying out, after all isn’t that what I always wanted, to live in and experience diverse cultures around the world. It was time for me to come out of my comfort zone and try something unusual. So, I drank two mugs of hot water, and waited, but nothing happened. This shit doesn’t work, I thought. Then I went to a nearby pharmacy and bought some painkillers, and of course it worked because that’s what you do when you get bad migraines.

The next morning, I asked my first graders what they thought about drinking hot water. “It’s good for your healthy,” they said in sync.

“No, not healthy, good for your health,” I emphasized.

“No healthy? Why no healthy?” One of them said, “Mummy says, hot water good for healthy.”

“Not healthy, you’re supposed to say, It’s good. For. Your. Health.”

“Yes, healthy,” they all laughed.

Fuck me, I thought, and wondered how the hell did I get this job when I couldn’t even teach my first graders such a simple thing. Maybe I should drink hot water, I thought that might make me a better teacher.

That day when I got home, I picked up my phone and called my grandmother, to catch up. I told her about my culture shock, my funny students, and my recurring migraines (I’ve had migraines since I was young.) “Actually hot water is good for you,” she said. “What? But it can’t possibly cure migraines,” I said, “I tried already.” She explained that migraines caused by high blood viscosity could be cured by hot water as it may quickly be absorbed in the blood and cause a relief in a painful headache, “you’re too impatient,” she laughed. She was right. My grandmother was one of the smartest people I’ve known, “and naps help too, as long as they are under 20 minutes,” she said.

Two weeks later, which was the end of my first month in Shenzhen, my Chinese co-teacher got me a great deal at her gym, a five-minute walk from our school. So, I started working out three times a week, while my co-teacher napped after lunch. During my muscle recovery days when I skipped gym, I tried to nap a few times, but it didn’t work for me, so I gave that up.

In the beginning of October, we got eight days off for the Chinese National Day holidays, so I packed my bags and left China. I thought that vacation would rejuvenate me, but when I returned I was more tired than before. I felt like I needed a holiday from the holiday. Not sure if it was the jetlag, too much partying, or lack of sleep, but I had severe migraines for the next few days. On the third day, which was of course a Wednesday, my busiest day of the week, I couldn’t deal with the pain. I was out of painkillers, so I walked to the pharmacy, but it was closed. I guess they were napping as well. So, I went back to the school and took a walk in the school garden. It was relaxing but it didn’t help cure my migraine. Then I sat under a tree, and closed my eyes, what can I do, this is killing me, I thought. And all of a sudden I thought of my grandmother (maybe because she was passionate about gardening, or it could have been something else.)

‘Hot water is good for you,’ her voice echoed in my mind.

I got up, went to the water dispenser, and drank two and half mugs of hot water. I should also try taking a short nap, I though, and went to the teacher’s office, but the door was locked because they were already sleeping. What the hell, I couldn’t believe my luck. First the pharmacy was closed and now the teacher’s office. I remembered that I had two classes in a row right after the lunch break. Not sure how I’m gonna be able to teach with this pounding headache, I thought, and then my eyes went to my grade one classroom, the door was wide open and the kids were sleeping. Maybe I should just take a nap in there, I went inside, found a spot at the back of the room, and closed my eyes. Not sure what it was about the room, maybe the right temperature, maybe the breathing patterns of 50 kids, maybe pure magic, but I fell asleep within minutes.

Before I go any further, let me remind you that I’m a light sleeper. I can’t sleep when there’s construction going on in the neighborhood, or busy traffic outside the house, or just people talking. So, to me, it was a great surprise that I slept through the whole lunch break. The next thing I heard was some sort of a bang, which woke me up. When I opened my eyes, there were 50 first graders standing over me, giggling.

“Why are you all laughing?” I rubbed my eyes. They kept giggling, and a few of them said something in Chinese but I didn’t understand. “What’s so funny,” I got up and exhaled.

“You funny,” they laughed.

“How am I funny?”

“Teacher, you dàshēng dǎhān,” one of them said.

“What?”

“Dàshēng dǎhān,” they said in sync, and then made loud noises of snoring.

“No, I didn’t,” I smiled.

“Yes, very very loud dàshēng dǎhān, and we wake up,” they giggled more.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I laughed, “let’s start our class.” While I walked to the front of the room, I realized that my headache was gone, though my head was still a bit heavy, but the migraine itself was gone. Wow, this actually works, I thought.

So, I started the class by telling them about my childhood and how I used to get migraines all the time. I don’t think they understood what I was talking about, because one of the students got up, went outside, and came back with a glass of water.

“Teacher, hot water.”

“Thank you so much,” I took the glass from him.

“Good for healthy?”

I nodded, “yes, good for my health.”

“Good for healthy!” That shouted in sync.

I’m the worst teacher in the world, I shook my head.