I Will Always Love You
“Did you hear about the war? Russia is attacking Ukraine?” my friend said. “No, I don’t watch news,” I said. I haven’t watched news since 2005, because I realized that it was always negative, and it was a complete waste of time. If I cared about what I put in my body, I should also care about what I put in my head. So, it’s been over 15 years of no news. Of course you need to know what’s going on around the world, but you don’t need to be inundated by it. These days, it’s easy not to hear what’s going on around the world because one of your social media networks shoves it in your face anyways.
When my friend mentioned the war, a few people came to my mind immediately. My ex whose family lives in Ukraine, a few of my close friends who are currently in Ukraine, and one of my best friends, Nora, who lives in Russia. What do you do when you have people you love on both sides of the war?
When I spoke to my ex, she told me how worried she was for her family, they were stuck in a town that was being bombed by the Russians. My close friends in Ukraine were in the same situation, they couldn’t leave. But I didn’t talk to my Russian friend, Nora. I’m sure she’s fine, I thought. How could she not, she wasn’t being bombed, her town wasn’t being occupied, she wasn’t being tortured psychologically. But was that really the case?
A few days ago, Nora was in my dreams, so I sent her a message on Instagram and we connected. She told me how the people in Russia were being affected by the war, mostly financially. Big deal, I thought. What do you expect? War has a price and someone’s gotta pay. At least you’re not waking up every morning thinking you might die today, I wanted to tell her, but I kept listening. Then she told me how everyone was abandoning them.
“What do you mean?”
“Everyone is leaving Russia. Even McDonalds and Coca Cola.”
“That’s not so bad,” I laughed, “now you guys will be the healthiest in the world.”
“I know I shouldn’t complain, but…” I heard her gulp, “I’m glad you called.”
She told me that many of her friends outside of Russia had unfriended her on Facebook. No one had messaged her since the attack. I could hear the pain in her voice. It made me realize how war affects people, how it affects the bond between people, how it affects love. Why would you hate her, why would you unfriend her, why would you abandon her? Just because she’s Russian? I told her she was better off not having those kinds of people in her life anyways. It’s one thing if she was in support of the war (which she’s not,) and it’s another to blame an individual for being a citizen of a country that misused its power.
Why should she suffer?
The next day, I sent messages to my close friends and to my ex whose family is still in Ukraine, to see how everyone was doing. Then I thought of Nora, and I wrote to her:
“I will always love you.”
